Thrilled to grill with our family’s newest addition


More than 14 years ago, I met the amazing woman who would become my wife at a Chinese restaurant in Lewisburg. After we chatted over chicken and broccoli and finished with fortune cookies, I introduced her to my imaginary internal book of rules.

Among them — one can not read his/her fortune until completely done eating. It just isn’t right. Failure to follow the rule voids out any cool fortune you may get.

Despite my obvious quirks and serious mental issues, Michelle miraculously married me 15 months later. Among our haul of impressive wedding gifts was our first official charcoal grill. It was massive. It was special. I swore that one day I would be cooking food on that grill for our daughter’s wedding.

You see, another one of the most important rules in my “special” slew of personal regulations — a man is not a true man unless he owns — and masters — a charcoal grill.

Notice the word “charcoal.” No disrespect to Hank Hill or other proponents of propane, but the only real grill is one you load with charcoal briquettes (or wood). Gas grills are just one small step below the average household range. I know because that is also in my manly mental rule book — Chapter 3, Page 2.

So my fragile little world took a drastic nosedive last fall when it became obvious that our beloved charcoal grill was beyond salvageable. The years of weather, my lack of keeping a grill cover on it and various other factors left it pitted and rusted beyond repair.

So this spring, my wife and I were on a mission to find a suitable replacement — eventually taking the plunge with a Kingsford 24-inch charcoal grill (model number BC222) that was recently on sale at Wal-Mart. It sells regularly for $98.


We got it for $88.

It isn’t as big as our last grill and the materials aren’t as refined — but for $88, it was worth a trial run at the very least. Reviews were very impressive on the unit — with the one negative comment coming from someone who couldn’t figure out how to put it together correctly.

But a real man can assemble his own grill. It says so in my rulebook. So I opened the box and got to work. Two long hours and about a hundred pieces later, the grill was ready for action. That’s when I noticed a sticker advertising free in-store assembly on the box.


The next day, we fired up the grill for its maiden voyage — using, as my internal list of regulations demands — barbecued ribs. It is the preferred meat of charcoal grills everywhere.

The meal turned out perfectly. Ribs, chicken legs and asparagus all tasted great. The $88 grill did its duty in fine detail. I was tickled pink while our meat marinated past pink to a nice, tender brown.

For those in need of a new charcoal grill, you really can’t go wrong with this unit. It comes with an adjustable internal rack for your charcoal, allowing you to apply just the right amount of heat to whatever you are cooking. It also has a nice-sized temperature gauge, two removable cast iron grills (much better than the typical heavy wire-like metal grills), foldable side shelf with tool hooks, 360 square inches of primary cooking surface, a 205-square-inch secondary rack that was perfect for grilling our asparagus, a removable ash pan and even a built-in bottle opener.

Yes, the grill may be a little small to cook a full wedding meal, but at $88, I can just buy a few more — this time taking advantage of the free assembly offer.

Some rules are meant to be broken!

~ by zaktansky on March 29, 2014.

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